There is a changing up of rituals that are familiar to you that often happens after someone close to you passes away. The activities that you once enjoyed together no longer serve you. The feeling of the void is too much and it sucks out the enjoyment of it all. Such is the case with Jackson and I. As I have not spent time in the kitchen these days, Jackson has whole-heartedly decided to give up hockey. He and Jordon were so connected when it came to hockey. Practices, skate sharpening, lace tying, playoff games, all of it has complete connection with Jordon and the pain of losing him is too much too soon for Jackson. I completely understand what he is feeling. He is self-directing his healing process and I am amazed at his progress thus far.
Jackson and I are forging new territory right now. We are blazing through new ideas and activities and creating new memories and fun. He is trying out a new sport right now and I am excited for him- football. And he’s damn good at it too. I am sure it’s his American roots coming out in him. As I was thinking about this process and his new interests, I had a vision today that I want to share with you all.
An analogy came to me today that is a perfect example in my mind of recovery from grief. When an athlete has an injury, that person can get knocked out of the game. Sometimes it’s a quick sit-out, other times it’s career-ending. Grief is much the same way and how you heal makes all the difference. Through physical therapy, an athlete goes through the motions, working the injury towards recovery. Moving to “act as if” you can jump again or swing out, or press forward teaches the muscles to regain flexibility and strength. The act of trying helps strengthen and lengthen and lessens the chance of scarring setting in and creating long -term damage. If you are grieving and you go sit on your couch and you do not move and you do not nurture yourself- you can create permanent emotional damage and possibly not be able to return to the game of life that you once loved. You have to stretch your mind, exercise you body and soul, create a “living as if” environment to be able to move forward and get back in your game. Seize your day, score a goal, and celebrate with your friends.