The Fun House
Warped mirrors reflecting back a distorted image of yourself, moving floors as you walk not knowing if you will fall, and plastic clown faces popping out at you to surprise, startle, and scare you. Sometimes this process I am going through feels like I am walking through a Fun House just trying to get to the other side. I know there is an end to the madness and at times I cling to those around me and hid my face in their chest so I cannot see what is happening as I shuffle along.. Sometimes the ones that should be walking beside you are actually hiding in the dark corners and popping out their real intent at you. It’s startling and upsetting, but its good to know who you can cling to and who you can’t. There is a real flushing out of reality and truth when a family member, friend, and spouse or parent dies. It is unimaginable to some people and the reality of it all makes them react in strange unpredictable ways. This is the aspect that I fear no one talks about.
My signs of late have been about forgiveness. Messages in the form of angel cards, emails, books, radio, commercials… The words forgiveness and forgive keep crossing my field of vision and my range of hearing. I hear you, Universe. I know the angels are above me gently reminding me of human error and frailty and compassion. I am not perfect by any stretch of the word. I am a learner. Forgiving is at the heart of peace. And I must through this process learning to forgive while making the final steps out of this crazy Fun House.
I liken this issue to people getting trapped in the swirling tunnel of the Fun House and the fear of not being able to get out. You are swirling about in your own dealings and it is hard to comprehend and feel and help those around you that are caught up in the same tunnel. You are bumping and crashing into each other not able to help one another. This is how this process goes and I am sure most people don’t like to talk about this aspect of grief and losing someone close to you. It draws out the negative nature in us all. It is the yang in our personalities and it counterbalances the yin we all like to project. Like a Fun House mirror, it reflects back the image of yourself you don’t want to see. Acceptance of your own personal limitations and forgiveness of yourself and others coupled with communication is the foundation of moving forward in my perspective. It is the path out of the Fun House.