The Angel in the Stream

I had a feeling today would be special. Today is the last full day to soak in all that Telluride has to offer and I decided to once again hike and see what I  could take in. The first sign was a Magpie- a beautiful, magnificent bird hopped along the fence next to us for awhile and he scooted off when he felt we were just a little too close for his comfort. He stayed with me for quite some time and I took him all in. His size and blue, white, and black feathers are something to behold. Thank you, Magpie for sharing your beauty with us and for your trust.


I then continued on through the Aspen trees. This is the perfect time of year for them as they get to show off their glowing golden beauty. What regal trees! They hold secrets and they tell stories and they watch you very carefully as you go by. They grow in clusters and they all stand as individuals yet they are deeply connected through their root systems. They stick together and hold guard and watch. Their white trunks are perfect to showcase their eyes, so alluring and wise. Thank you, Aspen Trees for watching over us today.


I ended up miles down the river at a basin for an old mill that was built during the Great Depression. We crossed through the “no trespassing” signs and went down into the years of refuse from the mill to the beautiful rocks and rushing waters to take a break and have our lunch.  I was drawn to the icy water and the glistening rocks and decided my feet needed some refreshment. I took my shoes off and slid down some rocks and rested my feet into the water. The cold washed over my skin and stung my toes, but it was healing as my feet are tired from a week’s worth of travel. The sun was casting streams of light into my vision and a particular beam of light didn’t bend like the others. And her color was a peachy hue. She stood up straight and moved when I moved. She was beautiful. I opened my mind and let her show me what she wanted me to see. I cleared my mental space and asked what do you want to tell me? A vision of the future, of security, of joy, of peace and prosperity filled my grateful heart. I made a promise to my peachy angel. We made a private pact. When my attention came back to the stream I turned to my left and my eyes rested on a small piece of white quartz near a red rock. Thank you, Beautiful Peachy Angel. Thank you for today.



A Day with the Ancients

I am learning so much about myself on this journey I have taken to Colorado. Getting back to nature and to peaceful surroundings has been just what my soul needed to re-connect. It is an amazing process to allow your heart to open and allow it to gravitate towards what it needs and craves to be whole again. I am trying not to direct my experiences here and just allowing the universe to make the stepping-stones appear under my feet as I walk across this beautiful stream of life. Trust and faith and openness allows in all things good and clears out the clutter in my heart and mind, the stress from what life brings, and the difficulties that weigh on my heart. I am breathing it all out today. Today is my last full day here. I know without a doubt it will be as extraordinary as all the others have been.

Yesterday I took a road trip down to Mesa Verde National Park and went to see the ancient cliff dwellings. What a powerful, amazing experience. The moment I stepped into the little city my heart started fluttering and a blue haze covered my vision and the feeling of laughter, energy, happiness, and fun filled my space. These ancient people were happy there. It seemed like a summer retreat and the visions of little children playing were everywhere. Such is the case when you are sensitive to energy, you can sense the emotional climate around you and all I felt there was fun and happiness. This spot must have been an oasis for those seeking rest after a day out hunting and the children climbing around the rocks and trees and skipping along the paths filled their childhoods with pure joy. Such experiences over the centuries create an enormous positive energy link that never goes away. I could feel the late night gatherings, ceremonies, fires, and the comfort of those that lived the experience there.


I battled my fears coming to this ancient space. I have a keen fear of heights and being out-of-control as a passenger whether it’s in a car or in life in general. The road to the dwellings was treacherous. The cutout roads linking the outside world to the ancient civilization there in the desert was an experience worth facing. The narrow two-lane road was a challenge to navigate with hairpin blind turns and the cliffs plummeting down thousands of feet below. It was a multi-level test of life and death. Stay on your path. Have faith. Don’t concern yourself with looking down or looking back~ look forward. Face forward toward your goals and draw up your courage and confidence to know you will navigate this journey with strength of heart and ask your angels for protection and guidance.


God teaches us about our lives through examples on a regular basis if we open up to the education of it all. Overcoming fears and refection of the experience are paths to learning and being open to the elements that come our way help us to learn, heal, love, and bond. How beautiful.



Today I hiked up Bear Creek Trail that started in the little town of Telluride, Colorado. It was completely uphill the entire way, rocky, majestic, difficult. Just like my life has been for quite some time now. The experience was nothing short of a spiritual quest that I didn’t realize I was on. It took everything I had physically to climb that mountain. The goal I thought was to see the waterfalls coming off the tips of the peaks and it had been raining lately so the power of the water was amazing. I slowly made my way up the steep trail walking.  There was no way to take a bad picture in this beautiful vast space. I was overwhelmed by the beauty of it all. The sound of the roaring stream coming down the mountain beside this trail was divine. It helped me keep focused on the here and now. The loudness quieted my mind. I pressed on.


An hour into the hike appeared a landing with an enormous rock protruding above the area. The vista was amazing and the two mountains coming down on each side formed a V. The sky and the clouds and the mountain peaks in the distance filled the vision further. I took a picture and then crawled up onto the rock and sat down.  The landing below me cleared of others enjoying the majestic view and that’s when it happened.

From a panoramic perspective I realized I was alone in this valley high up from the city, but at the base of two magnificent mountains towering above me. The music in my headphones started to play a timeless sound with a sitar and the power of the moment washed over me like an avalanche. I realized I had been there before and the epiphany of it unfolded before my eyes. A week ago I had a vision and I wrote it down. I am writing a book right now and this vision was a part of my story. Here is what I wrote last week:

I see a massive divide and I am at the bottom. The divide is the human race. Division has reigned for too long and it is now time for the light to break through and touch us all to move forward towards truth and happiness and love. The cliffs are beautiful and they shoot up into the sky with divine purple shadows casting off the jagged edges and peaks. There is a beautiful smell of freshness coming through the divide. Birds. Rushing water. Everything beautiful is starting to fill the cavernous space around me. When love, compassion, and truth fill the void it is felt and seen with every sense. The greatest gift that is then given to us when we accept this Light into our existence ~is knowledge. And with knowledge…comes enlightenment.


Today I received a miraculous affirmation of that vision. I sat at the bottom of that valley looking up. I was hearing the rushing water and the birds. I was feeling the fresh air and drinking in all the good feelings that were coming into that valley. At that moment I was experiencing so much love and peace and understanding that tears of joy, elation, and happiness were streaming down my face completely wetting my cheeks. I completely felt oneness with God and I felt an understanding being placed into my heart. Here is what I heard:

We are all connected and loved by a benevolent God. When we believe and share and show love outwardly~ only then do we feel that love come through us. The divine order of the universe says you must first give in order to receive. And through giving you will find love. This is a basic truth and it is the basis of all acts with good intent. The process starts with loving yourself, and from that point it radiates to your family, friends, neighbors, community, country, and world. Personal experience is connected to the larger universe. We all matter. Loving yourself is where it starts and from there it never ends and it never dies and always moves forward on that continuum to Oneness.

On the way down off that mountain today I had an amazing energy. It felt so good to have that experience, so life affirming, so relevant to my world, and so happy to share it. I have never felt more grounded and solid in my heart as I do today. My heart overflows with Gratitude. Thank you.


Soulmates – from an NDE Perspective

This article is spot on in every sense. A must read. I never had an NDE, but I did through crisis experience this Love and Light. I wrote a journal about it:

Eight years ago in the late summer my new life was just starting. My mom and my sister and I found ourselves at a mountain retreat for a spa day. We all desperately needed it. Jordon had just been diagnosed in July with Malignant Melanoma skin cancer. I had a four-year-old son and a busy career and family…. A spa day was in order. But what happened that day I will never forget. I haven’t spoken of it since but now I understand that it was meant for now. Not then. I would have gotten it wrong back then. Timing is patient and is everything sometimes.

I scheduled a massage. An earthy-looking peaceful woman called out my name and I followed her into the room where she preceded to wash my feet ceremonial style and then I got up on the table and laid down facing up. She came in and positioned herself above me and put her hands on my head. She started with slow circular movements on my head with her fingertips. That’s when it happened. A bright, luminescent, circular, yellow light appeared to me when I closed my eyes. Immediately tears began flowing. My eyes were drawn up into what felt like a tunnel. The pale yellow light was moving and flowing and shining like the sun without the burn. I could look straight into it and not feel pain. As soon as I acknowledged it I started to take my mind off my vision and onto what was happening to my heart. I literally felt it open and be pulled up. Drawn up. I felt this inescapable, magnificent, overwhelming, comforting, beautiful, peaceful, palpable love. The gate opened and a rush of amazing, forgiving, loving emotions came to me all at once. I thought of all my family and friends and I wanted to jump off the table and contact each one of you and tell you how much I love you. The binds and band-aids and scars on my heart instantly melted away and all that was left was love. I was so blinded by happiness!!! I was not spoken to. I was shown a feeling. I remember seeing letters and I was writing.

The session lasted an hour. I cried for an hour. I lived in Heaven for an hour. I know that now. I didn’t understand that then. I thought the massage therapist had some sort of mental trance on me. I reasoned it away and did not share what happened. I didn’t understand it as I was going through the darkest moments of my life at the time. I wasn’t ready to handle what I had seen and felt. I understand that it was meant for now. It is a deep, wonderful understanding of what happens to each and every one of us. What a remarkable experience! I know and feel where Jordon resides. It is a beautiful, wonderful place that escapes earthly words in any language. No literal understanding. No way for me to paint, sing, write, or speak of the love that is felt there. The important thing is that it exists and to not be afraid. Believe and notice.


“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”
Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

Written by Jody Long (NDERF – Near Death Experience Research Foundation)

We never thought we would be talking about soulmates.  We heard of them, but never expected to be in a soulmate relation.  Now we recognize we are soulmates, and are eager to see how our experiences compared with others.  There is surprisingly little on the Internet.  We then started asking people what they thought a soulmate was; the answers were quite varied.  Answers from others…

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A Fish in a Puddle

When you live your life near the surface and don’t spend too much time diving into the deep to gain greater wisdom, you run a great risk living as a fish. The deep provides understanding and gives you a greater sense of the bigger picture of life. You see new places, experience new things, meet other fish whom you might learn something from. Some fish you meet might be your friend or they just might be smaller than you and pose no risk. Other fish are not so friendly and they may be hungry so you need to learn the skills on how to swim away or how to avoid becoming lunch.

Life is about risk and reward. How far you swim down, what you are willing to experience and learn, how much you crave the education of the deep will determine how you handle yourself when a crisis arrives. Life is beautiful in the deep. The colors and designs of God’s creatures are magnificent. The coral and sea plants are something to behold. Be not afraid, for God gives you the ability to see down there if you are willing to dive deep. The light manages to make it through and reflects a spectacular beauty. Once you practice wading into the deep you gain a greater perspective on the vibrancy of life, on the finned company that you keep, and how to avoid your bigger, hungry neighbors. You had the guts to venture down and to swim away when the barracuda passed you by; therefore, you build the confidence to know when something happens you can handle the waves and the current and not let it make you lose your way.

It is an unfortunate case that some fish think that by living on the surface of the water that it is a safer place to be. They do not wish to seek the deeper unknown. Their communication with other finned and shelled types and their sentiments and aquatic actions are shallow. Outwardly they appear as if all is perfect as that is what they want their scales to reflect out to others. But they live in fear. And it holds them back from learning how to navigate into the deep.

Here is the truth. You cannot hide from what life brings you. Sometimes from the air comes bad weather. The sea retracts and the sand bars reform from the hurricanes in life. Living on the surface might trap you on the other side of that sand bar and slowly from the wind and the sun the water dissipates as nature breaks up the oxygen from the hydrogen and returns it to the air reclaiming that which it gave. You will find yourself a fish in a puddle. And that is not a good place for a fish to be. So. Not coming out of your comfort zone in life is just as much of a risk. And it’s a high price to pay when you’re a fish.




My memories of my pregnancy and Jackson as a baby and a young child are real triggers for pain and grief for me. It is hard to fathom how the best memories in your life become so incredibly painful while you are traveling through the process of grief. It is counter-intuitive to think the best times of your life create the most pain but that’s how grief works for me.

When I was pregnant with Jackson I used to wake up in the morning and I knew he was sleeping too. The minute I awoke I would sit up and enjoy the feeling of knowing Jackson was waking up too. We did everything together and it was fun to feel his little kicks and hiccups. The connection during pregnancy is nothing short of divinity at its highest level. And after he was born, his eyes and little hands and laughter were so beautiful and new. I was getting to know this miraculous little human being and seeing him react to the world under mine and Jordon’s care and devotion is burned into my most cherished memories. My memories of those early days fully include Jordon. He was a very hands-on father; gentle, loving, nurturing, and so patient.

I struggle putting the description into earthly words when the person you so intimately share those experiences with is now gone. It’s akin to having a falling dream where you are sleeping soundly and all the sudden you feel yourself falling backward and you grab onto the side of the bed to keep yourself out of the dreamy pit you envision behind you. Grief hits and you just have to absorb the punch. Your reaction cannot be to get out of the way, but to overcome the blow you just took out of nowhere. The impact knocks the breathe out of you and you have to fall back or sit down or excuse yourself for awhile and let the day seep back into your system. You must keep going. You must overcome the fall and get back up again.

Grief is powerful. I believe it is the most powerful, painful emotion one can experience in the entire spectrum of human emotion. It is the red zone past the black line. The goal is to breathe through it. Ground yourself and look forward to the end of the acute phase of the intense pain. Go easy on yourself; your body, mind, heart, and spirit just took a sucker punch and have faith that you will move past it. Life is not over and the rivers still flow, the sun still shines, love is still present, and peace will once again reign in your heart and mind.

There is no worthy explanation for this occurrence and I see no value in this experience so I refuse to try and make one up. For me, it is just a powerful negative experience that rips and tears and its up to me to bind and heal by asking my angels and God for help. That is what they are here for.

So now I place my celestial order to the universe. One order of help from above, please, with a side of acceptance and healing to go.   I need to move on from this horrible moment and I have no time to waste.

The response is, “Ask and you shall receive.”~ A pure, timeless, simple truthful answer back.

Thank you very much.

With Gratitude,


The Vision From Above


On a bitter cold day in February I was feeling sickly and fatigued. Looking back I now know that I was taking on Jordon’s pain from his cancer and I was looking to soothe my aching body that needed some rest. When I say “taking on” I mean that I have an ability to feel other people’s emotions and pain, happiness or depression from a physical to a spiritual level. I am an empath. I physically feel empathy and I know where pain resides when I am around someone with whom I feel a connection. Jordon had severe pain in many areas before he was diagnosed with cancer, and I intrinsically knew what was happening.

This particular day I was seeking some personal relief from his pain and space for my mind to rest. I created a personal sanctuary around my tub in my bathroom. The walls are purple- the highest heavenly color. I added beautiful oxygen-expressing plants around it to add life and candles to bring in fire. The hot salt water seeped in to my pain and eased the ache that had come to stay. I was feeling a lot of energy that day and needed to open my mind to what the message was for me. As soon as I sank in the beautiful vision began to play out.

Jesus was with me. We were in a small rowboat and he was rowing me out into a lake. I was lying face up yet I could see both above me and below me into the water. I could hear very clearly the oars making their way through the water while clacking off the metal binders that kept them anchored to the boat. Jesus was rowing. I was a passenger. I was there to learn. He had something important to share with me and I was open to understanding. As the rowing came to a halt, I looked toward the end of the boat and a small beautiful angel came down and landed on the edge. She was carrying a plaque, but it was empty of words or descriptive art of any kind. Just as I noticed there was nothing written or drawn, the meaning came to me all at once without my having to read or to ask or to look elsewhere. Here was the message given to me by a little angle, who was asked to join us by Jesus.

She showed me a pendulum. One side of the pendulum swinging represented doing to much. Going for it all. Never being satisfied. Over-achiever. Then the pendulum swung to the other side. On the other side was not caring. Not seeking. Inaction. Then the pendulum after swinging for some time began, by the law of the universe, to rest in the middle. Exactly where it was supposed to be. The message then came loud and clear.

Just be and just do.

Simplicity. Balance. Imagine yourself a pendulum resting in its natural state. Clarity in its highest form. Imagine if we could take this message and apply it to life and how we approach everything we do. What kind of world would we live in?

The Golden Rule

Tomorrow is a tree dedication ceremony in honor of Jordon at the place he worked for 20 years in Cambridge, Ontario Canada. I thought reposting this was appropriate.

Holly C Barker

This journal is about truth and simplicity and the “Golden Rule”

There is nothing complicated about the truth. There is no debate and no angles. And there is simplicity. The farther into complications and diversity in belief we get, the farther from the truth we find ourselves. This is precisely where religious dogma gets in our way and knocks us off our spiritual paths we were intended to follow. Judgment of others and their faiths or beliefs, man-made rules and behaviors and covenants that do not serve a greater purpose that are exclusionary, take us further away from simplicity and truth and all things inclusionary and good. We are all connected, and we bond to those we meet in our lifetimes that are in our paths for a reason. When we feel this, acknowledge it, and live by it we become enriched and graced with love and support and understanding…

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