(This email appeared in my inbox an hour and a half after Jordon passed away.)

I’m not sure I am ready to write about this but I am going to anyway. It’s time. Due to my lack of fear and filter, along with my need to be authentic with others and myself, I am going to write it out. I made a big decision over the holidays to change the direction of my life for many reasons. The main earthly reason is Jackson. But also for myself I have to be honest with my experience this year, so I am going to write it down and share. It is the basis for my book that I will be completing in the next couple of months. Whether this book is just for my healing or for others as well is up to the universe. All I know is that it needs to be written down, so I comply.

Two months before Jordon was diagnosed with metastatic cancer I had an awakening. The timing was perfectly planned from above for me. My whole life I have had a strong 6^th sense, psychic abilities if you will. I ignored it and ran from it because I was afraid, as most people are who don’t understand their gifts. I seemed to know when energy was around me, both good and bad. I seemed to know the emotions of others around me even when their outward actions and appearance was showing something different. I have always been interested in near-death experiences and read countless books about them. I even had the privilege of meeting a few along my way. Their experiences were extraordinary and it changed them forever. I sought answers through religion over the years, but I always felt there was something higher that was more inclusive to all of us; a oneness that exists that is inclusive and not exclusionary.

When Jordon became sick I started a Caringbridge webpage. The funnel of thought and emotion started in me and I realized how much I needed to share. The love I felt during that time was extraordinary and powerful. My husband, who was loved by many, was dying and our family was going through a massive crisis. Such a time brings out true authentic emotion and thought on a level I could have never thought possible. Truths and beliefs become crystal clear. There is knowledge and understanding beyond the spectrum of everyday life here on earth for us. It is available to all of us. I am no different than anyone else; I have just had a catalyst in my life to bring me to this point. For a reason I am not sure of, my task is to write it down. So I write.

In the days, weeks, and months following Jordon’s passing, my abilities and understandings have grown stronger. This is the basis of this journal and I am going to share it with you. I see visions and signs, feel energy, and experience real connections to those that have passed on. I have gone through classes this year in Integrated Energy Therapy and Reiki and I do energy work on others. I see and feel pain within people who are suffering from physical and emotional sickness or disease and can help confer the source so they can move towards wellness.  The mind/body connection is powerful and we often write our own scripts in health and wellbeing. When I feel someone’s pain, my arms and hands and heart feel a vibration and my need to reach out and transfer that energy to the person in front of me is powerful. I go with what I feel and most times others allow me to help. Sometimes when I am with someone who has lost an important person in his or her life I can communicate with that person that has crossed over. I can see important details, physical features to give confirmation, family stories and histories. I can smell a perfume or cigar smoke that they used to have about them and hear their voice and laughter. I can relay important information back to the person who is in front of me. It is so healing and it happens all the time. It is time I embrace this gift and share it with others. I cannot deny this and move forward in my life without it. I love being able to do this and the more I focus on it, the stronger it gets. When life gets in my way, I feel cut off and low in energy. When I clear space for these gifts, my life improves greatly.

I have written a lot over the year about these visions and experiences and posted pictures of signs from above. Consider this journal the summary and sum-total of what is happening, a manifesto of sorts. It is truthful, honest, and lacking of worry or fear of judgment. I know I must stay real to my path as those who don’t believe will think of this momentarily and then move on with their lives. If I don’t share due to that fear and momentary negative reaction of others, then I lose out on my whole life. The cost of this does not outweigh the benefit of sharing. This is something to consider in your own life. Do what brings you joy and happiness. Be authentic. Use your God-given gifts and talents, as we all have them. Those that want to share in your life will be there, those that do not support you will move on. Focus on your positive connections with others and grow in your daily endeavors knowing you have the right people with you for the right reasons. True happiness is borne of following the path that is meant for you.

Love and Light to you all.

Holly

A Year in Review of the Signs:

My backyard on a particular tough day for me after his passing.