The Healing Block


Having good memories of past fun and happiness and love is healing. Having fun is important not just for the present, but also for the past and the future. When we focus on the fun of the day we create a healing tool that can be drawn upon during future days when life becomes difficult.

In Heaven this positive experience is stored as a healing block~ an event that is used in time to heal physical or emotional pain. When we stop having fun and the good events in our lives are not created, we run low on the stores of healing blocks that are used to build us up again. Just like saving money in the bank for a rainy day, making the effort to have some fun creates positive memories as an investment into your future that you can draw upon when times get tough. The more you create, the more positive energy you store, the more is there in the “bank” in your past for you to heal yourself in the future. We need positive memories to heal. And it requires the past, the future, and present effort. It takes effort on our parts to build these memories and they serve us in ways that will come back to us magnified one hundred fold in the future. It doesn’t mean you have to pay for an expensive vacation as it can mean a beautiful walk in a park with a loved one or a picnic or a special dinner out.

Yes, grief does play out a little differently but this same process applies. Sometimes through our grief journey, good memories are painful. It is counter-intuitive on many levels as the good memories equate to loss now, and the void now that those memories are not still being created with the person that is no longer in our life. This is where we have to take the painful but needed steps towards creating new memories and new and different events in our lives and start fresh. After Jordon died it was the things I enjoyed the most that I wanted to do the least. I didn’t quite understand the level of aversion to those things quite like I do now. Now I understand the process a little better. We don’t need to stop doing fun things in our lives, as those things will lead us to healing. I have decided to go back in time to the memory of my childhood and remember things I loved to do when I was young. For me, I used to love to create art.  I decided to start doing things that were really related to things I loved to do that did not have attachments to my relationship with Jordon. I am building an art studio in my basement for me to create art from my memories and feelings and visions I have had over the past year. I am going to create artistic form and mass using color and paint and objects and canvass from my visions. I am using this childhood love of mine as a means to heal. The pain and loss and good memories that were created with Jordon need to be out of my being, out of my mind, and onto canvass where I can look at it, see it, and understand it, and be at peace with it. Writing this journal is another way I am choosing to express and heal myself. The ideas are endless. Find your outlet and just go for it.

I am telling you this as a means to help you become unstuck. If you cannot drag yourself out of the pain and anguish you feel from the physical void of your lost loved one, try and take small steps towards doing something in your life that creates a new memory, even if is for a minute each day. If you are not creating something new, you will only live in your old life and that is the doorway to being locked in a room that does not serve you. Maybe this journal can be a key for you to unlock old passions, create new energy and focus, and allow in the flow of new pathways to follow.

Trust and Understanding

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. ~Proverbs 3:5

How powerful and peaceful is this statement. Amazing, really. And so simple. The why question is always there in our minds when something tragic happens. The question comes so easily. We all want answers to life’s most difficult problems and hurdles. If we had some justification for the terrible things that happen out there in the world somehow, maybe we believe it would be easier on our hearts to endure. To trust the Divine without personal earthly understanding takes energy and focus on our part. It often times takes monumental paradigm shifts in thinking on our whole human experience and existence to overcome tragedy. But the simple truth is stated above~ Trust in the Lord with all thine heart. There are answers and there is a bigger picture that we don’t see~ if we don’t try. Our task in life is to become connected to this larger understanding. The answer is again very simple. Notice and believe. We all have a gate to wisdom and understanding placed into our hearts. We are all given a spiritual key of trust to unlock this gate and to be open to this wisdom. Free will and choice has been given to us as a gift and a test during our lives. We choose how to go about on our daily endeavours. We choose how we treat others. We make life-altering decisions on our own. When we accept this power that is given to us and use it for our highest good as well as those around us, we can move through this gate and into amazing understanding and peace with all that surrounds our lives. And again a simple Divine truth, Seek and Ye Shall Find. The answers really are out there; you just have to Trust.


Warrior Angels

What is the purpose of the ability to imagine? What are our imaginations for? Imagination is the centre from which manifestation happens. Our imagination needs to be better understood. For as children when we felt and saw things we were told it was just our imagination. We then interpret our extrasensory perceptions as just that~ imagination with the connotation of it being not real and just a colourful thought. The root word is image. Where are these images coming from? What do they mean? When we believe and notice, we set this centre of our understanding on fire and the realization and purification of the fire brings in truth and clarity and then connection and understanding. Think on this. 🙂

Holly C Barker

One of the toughest days I had during the time between Jordon’s diagnosis and his passing was a particular day at the cancer center early on. He was going through a barrage of testing that week. He had a bone scan, an MRI, a biopsy, on and on….but one particular day was the hardest. His abdominal CT scan. That’s where the cancer was. There was a known factor in this scan. And it was going to be the determining outcome in Jordon’s time that he had left.

His pain had been increasing steadily so I knew this was not going to be good news. I felt a physical, emotional, and spiritual weight on my shoulders that day. It was so heavy. My speech was slowed, Jordon’s thinking was slowed. We barely talked. It was like we were going to a sentencing to hear judgment. The day was dark overcast. We…

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Crossing the Bridge to the Place of Acceptance


“How??” “How can I do this?” “How can I accept that she’s gone?” That is a very deep meaningful question that I am hearing over and over again from others reaching out to me. I write about acceptance. And yes it is the key and the starting point of healing from loss. Your painful, valid questions are very real and very much in order. How do we cross that bridge over to acceptance and stay on our path of recovery? The horizon shows a landscape of many bridges we have to cross and many roads to take. I know it is overwhelming. Just take a deep breath, settle in, read on and breathe out.

There are two parts to acceptance. The first is the physical separation we feel when a loved one leaves us. It is a physical, emotional, and mental bond that breaks that is truly felt by the body, heart, and soul. When you feel this, you will know it. It will be a feeling and understanding like nothing you have ever felt before. This is the dark feeling, the painful part of acceptance. It is your heart, mind, and spirit feeling the burn of the physical separation. Unfortunately many people get stuck here. This comes to us whether we accept it or not.

The other side of acceptance is the powerful healing side. You have to fully accept and understand that our departed loved one’s energy, essence, love, and spirit is still alive and well. They move up and into the Light and still have the ability to be with us here during our mourning and throughout our life if necessary. They know what we need better than we do. When you fully vest yourself into this understanding and open yourself up to the spiritual connection your healing and acceptance will start.

Will this take away the sadness and grief? No. Will this make our day-to-day pain of closing out the earthly matters of our loved one passing on go away? No. But here is the truth, and it has been recorded over history for a millennia as well as countless accounts from near death experiences from people all over the world. Our loved ones don’t die, they move on to a different plane, dimension, Heaven. They are happy. They are at peace. Their hearts are full and their souls are rejoined once again. And they are with us. Guiding us. Watching over us. And very much able to communicate with us if we will be open and believe and notice. When the rhythms, and signs, and vibration, and closeness start you will know where to look, what to understand, and it will bring you great comfort and an ease to your heart that will start your process of healing.

Grief and the physical separation is the painful, horrible part of this process and none of us is spared. The key is to move out of that space and over to the connective space of acceptance as soon as you can. Read about it. Believe it. Reach out to us, to books; to your faith; to which ever you can to help pull you over. You will find strength you never knew you had. Believe in yourself and believe in the power of this process and you will cross that bridge to acceptance. It is the most meaningful resting point on your journey and it is a solid foundation for your recovery.

Here is my prayer that you can cross this bridge and many more. I pray that you find this starting point within your heart and mind. Ask God. Ask your angels for help. Ask for signs so you will know. And know above all else that you are never alone.