“How??” “How can I do this?” “How can I accept that she’s gone?” That is a very deep meaningful question that I am hearing over and over again from others reaching out to me. I write about acceptance. And yes it is the key and the starting point of healing from loss. Your painful, valid questions are very real and very much in order. How do we cross that bridge over to acceptance and stay on our path of recovery? The horizon shows a landscape of many bridges we have to cross and many roads to take. I know it is overwhelming. Just take a deep breath, settle in, read on and breathe out.
There are two parts to acceptance. The first is the physical separation we feel when a loved one leaves us. It is a physical, emotional, and mental bond that breaks that is truly felt by the body, heart, and soul. When you feel this, you will know it. It will be a feeling and understanding like nothing you have ever felt before. This is the dark feeling, the painful part of acceptance. It is your heart, mind, and spirit feeling the burn of the physical separation. Unfortunately many people get stuck here. This comes to us whether we accept it or not.
The other side of acceptance is the powerful healing side. You have to fully accept and understand that our departed loved one’s energy, essence, love, and spirit is still alive and well. They move up and into the Light and still have the ability to be with us here during our mourning and throughout our life if necessary. They know what we need better than we do. When you fully vest yourself into this understanding and open yourself up to the spiritual connection your healing and acceptance will start.
Will this take away the sadness and grief? No. Will this make our day-to-day pain of closing out the earthly matters of our loved one passing on go away? No. But here is the truth, and it has been recorded over history for a millennia as well as countless accounts from near death experiences from people all over the world. Our loved ones don’t die, they move on to a different plane, dimension, Heaven. They are happy. They are at peace. Their hearts are full and their souls are rejoined once again. And they are with us. Guiding us. Watching over us. And very much able to communicate with us if we will be open and believe and notice. When the rhythms, and signs, and vibration, and closeness start you will know where to look, what to understand, and it will bring you great comfort and an ease to your heart that will start your process of healing.
Grief and the physical separation is the painful, horrible part of this process and none of us is spared. The key is to move out of that space and over to the connective space of acceptance as soon as you can. Read about it. Believe it. Reach out to us, to books; to your faith; to which ever you can to help pull you over. You will find strength you never knew you had. Believe in yourself and believe in the power of this process and you will cross that bridge to acceptance. It is the most meaningful resting point on your journey and it is a solid foundation for your recovery.
Here is my prayer that you can cross this bridge and many more. I pray that you find this starting point within your heart and mind. Ask God. Ask your angels for help. Ask for signs so you will know. And know above all else that you are never alone.
You could not have possibly wrote this at a better time! see last monday my wife of 18 years lost her battle with a rare lung cancer and passed away, I have grieved hard, very hard, she was my Soul Mate and the sense of loss is tremendous, it has only been 1 week but the healing process has begun, I miss her something terrible but have a strange sense of calm now, it’s almost like she is here , I can smell her perfume now and then , and have quite suddenly been motivated to clean the house and make sure our son (age 13) is alright, I want so desperately to believe that my Beautiful wife is here at my side unseen as an Angel from Heaven , I want so desperately to believe that it is she who is providing me with a sense of calm and peace.
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You absolutely need to believe that. I could smell Jordon’s presence in the room with me. I slept peaceful at night, he sent me rainbows. All of the above, Butch. I have been following your blog and praying for you. She is with you. Move your heart from wanting to believe to KNOWING she is with you. Because she is. 🙂
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Thank you Holly for writing this inspiring piece. I’m close to a year now on this journey and I’ve been alternating between when I want to believe and times when grief takes over totally. I have read extensively on the spiritual nature of reality and I’m keeping my mind and heart open. Though this process I have received signs sometimes very subtle but even in times of deep distress I have never been able to shake away the feeling that my wife never left me. There are days when this though predominates my Grief and those are the days when I’m doing better. There’s much to be learned on this journey of self enlightenment and recovery..
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And thank you for reaching out to me! I’m glad to hear your heart and mind is open and that you feel her presence with you always. Sounds like you are slowly healing and trying to understand so you don’t get stuck! Rishi, you are miles ahead of many people on this journey who are not even ready to seek self-enlightenment. There is so much to learn for all of us, I don’t think we will ever stop learning about what happened to us. Blessing to you and hope your healing continues for you and your sweet child. Stay in touch. 🙂
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I lost my husband 7 years ago but the pain is still there, it is really hard living without him…he may not physically present but i do believe that he is always around spiritually for me and for our daughter…
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Thank you ms holly, reading your post helps me a lot…..
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