I had a beautiful crystal bowl. This bowl was my life. During this life of mine this bowl has been full~ full of adventure, experience, good times and bad. But it has always been full. The crystal this bowl is made up of has always reflected out what my life has been like. A prism of color and light. Family and friends have always added to this bowl of mine, and from it~ its contents have sustained me.
Last year my bowl dropped and hit the floor. It broke into many pieces. Everywhere. Quite sudden. For years I have carried around this bowl of mine knowing damn well how fragile it really was. Sometimes I forgot that it was crystal and took it for granted like we often do when our focus is on the contents and not the bowl itself. Other times I sat paralyzed at the thought of what would happen if I didn’t have this beautiful bowl of mine. Such times of reflection are an important grounding tool to keep us wise and grateful for the abundance that this bowl of mine provided but we should also go on about our lives and not ponder to the point of not living. There was a hair-line crack in this bowl of mine between knowing and living. When I lived, I didn’t know and when I knew~ I stopped living.
Right now I am sitting on the floor where the pieces of my bowl lay on the ground. I have swept them into a nice little pile and I am taking inventory. All the pieces are beautiful still. They are still reflective. They hold memories and energy and love. I can’t put the pieces back together because the truth is the bowl would leak and not function like it once did. I can’t throw the pieces away~ it is my life lying there in that pile.
I haven’t figured out the next step. What to do? How to get off the floor? I am giving over control of this next step to God. How. Where. When. I will follow my own advice to others and look for the signs. Notice and Believe. The answers will be there. In its own time and in its own way.
I will honor these pieces and set them up so the light shines through them into my space. And I will wait in my broken reality with my heart open. And I will know. I have faith that I will know.