In Remembrance of You
It’s been a year now as of today. Your presence and your absence has been felt every day since you passed away. I want to write you a letter. Send it out into the universe. I know you’ll get it, hold it, and read it.
I love you. Jackson loves you. I love the love you left behind and the love you took with you. You were an amazing father and a friend to many. You always picked the right side to be on and you used your internal compass to guide you till the end. You always had it pointed true north. In the end your memorial service was standing room only~ hundreds standing to honor you and your life. I didn’t shed a tear that day and now I know why. I was proud of you, of all you accomplished, of the father you were, of us and our life together. You impacted the world with your kind, gentle spirit and so many are better because of it. I know I am and so is Jackson.
Jordon, this letter is short. Your time with us was too short. And this day is too painful. Just know Jackson and I love you. We will never go a day when we don’t think about you and miss you.
Holly
Holly C Barker 
Comme je vous suis reconnaissante de votre envoi, même sans vous connaître, nous sommes soeur. J’ai moi-même connu votre peine au décès de mon compagnon de 20 ans, chanteur lyrique et mort du cancer du poumon dans sa 61è année. J’étais si profondément meurtrie que durant ces 7 dernières années, je me suis mise en retraite, en habitant plus loin, en m’isolant sur tous les plans. J’avais besoin d’atteindre les profondeurs de mon être. Etant chrétienne, la foi m’a submergée cette année, à la suite d’un nouveau drame, le décès de maman. C’est alors que j’ai senti un appel et le besoin de partir, comme en croisade. Oui je suis une battante comme vous, et le monde auquel on nous promet ne me plait pas, j’ai ouvert mon coeur aux autres, combattu ceux qui m’agressaient avec mes armes, et dans la perspective de “changer moi-même”. Je crois toujours en l’amour et suis certaine que les âmes de nos défunts, qui sont parties sans la paix, trouvent le salut par le combat et la mission de ceux qui les aiment, sur cette petite terre, dans le grand univers. J’ai dit à ma fille que “j’avais rencontré le créateur, qu’on l’appelle Dieu ou autrement ! Il m’a aidée et alors tous mes actes ont été comme bénis. J’entends la peine des autres depuis tant d’années, étant trop peu sûre de moi pour les aider, j’ose le faire à présent, et c’est tout le courage que je souhaite à ceux qui, comme vous traversent des moments si douloureux. Trouver leur paix, au centre de leur être, pour rayonner autour d’eux de cette force qui les anime alors. Tout ira bien, je le sais je n’en ai jamais douté….
LikeLike
As I am grateful for your post, even without knowing you, we are sisters. I myself have known your sentence to the death of my companion of 20 years, opera singer and lung cancer death in his 61st year. I was so deeply wounded that during the last 7 years, I started retreating, living further, isolating myself on all levels. I needed to reach the depths of my being. As Christian, faith submerged me this year, following a new drama, mom’s death. It was then that I felt a call and need to leave, as a crusade. Yes I’m a fighter like you, and the world to which we are promised does not please me, I opened my heart to others, fought those who assaulted me with my arms, and with a view to “change myself” . I still believe in love and am certain that the souls of our deceased, who left without peace, find salvation through combat and mission of those who love them, on this small land, in the grand universe. I told my daughter that “I met the creator, whether it is called God, or else! He helped me and then all my actions were as blessed. I hear the pain of others for so many years, being too insecure to me to help, I would do it now, and that’s all the courage that I wish those, like through you moments so painful. Find their peace in the center of their being, to radiate around them of that force which then animates them. Everything will be fine, I know I never doubted ….
This is beautiful. I am glad you had that discussion with God and found inner peace. That experienced changed you and now you are reaching out to others! Thank you for reaching out to me!
LikeLike