I woke up today not feeling up to anything. I had a bad dream and I’m stressing over my grades because they are terrible. I was walking to my bus stop and my feelings kept crawling deeper inside my head. I texted my mom and said “today is not going to be a good day,” so she let me come home.
On my understanding of how to deal with my feelings when it comes to grief there’s no way that I can make myself happy in a second. I think of it like a table with lots of food on it. You can not eat all of it at once. You have to be the smart one and sort this out. I would start off with the stuff that catches my eye first. Then I would slowly take it day by day eating the food. That’s my vision on how to deal with problems with grief over losing my dad. If I choose to eat all the food (deal with all my problems) in one day, I would feel terrible. If I choose to do it that way, none of my problems would get solved. If you don’t take it slowly and deal with all your problems, they will turn into bigger problems. In many situations this is true. No matter what the situation, you have to be your number one priority and you have to sacrifice stuff that does not have to be in your life.
A good way I like to get through my week is to not to look forward only to my Friday night, but to take every day and try to find something to enjoy about it. Take your free time and use it as fun and wisely as possible.
After my Dad died, my mom and I moved back home to be closer to family. All through 7th grade I could not stop missing Toronto, which was the city I grew up in. I spent most of my free time missing home. That is an example of problems that don’t need to be in your life. Now I realized I missed a whole school year on helping myself get better. Free time is the most important thing in going through grief. If you don’t know how to use it right, you’re getting nowhere. If you use it right I PROMISE you will improve.
Thanks for listening to my story,
Jackson
Holly C Barker 
That is very insightful. Impressive advice from an 11 year-old.
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Thank you for sharing your story Jackson. Grief takes great strength and courage to go through. You are an amazing young man.
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He says thank you. ❤️🌎✌️️
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I have an 11 year old son who lost his Dad 8 months ago. i have been trying to understand his not wanting to go to school and this sums up what he has been telling me perfectly. Thankyou for sharing ❤️
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Jackson , I sure could have used your advice after my dad died from cancer when I was 10 years old. Back then people didn’t talk about death and grieving, therefore not dealing with my kids resulted in depression as an adult. I am so glad that times have changed and people are aware of the needs of people grieving.
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Wow! What a story and what a great writer. Write the pain away my friend.
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Thank you for having the courage to share as you have. I am 62 yrs old and your insight has helped me.
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My grandson is 11 year old. He lost his father at 11 mths old, and then last year he lost his wonderful mother and precious baby sister. His sister passed in Feb from trisomy 18 and his mother passed in Oct from automobile accident. She had called and told him she was coming to take him to school and had him breakfast. He has aspergers, so he had issues before these tragedies struck him. He’s an honor roll student but has never spoke to kids at school. He does whisper to teachers. My heart breaks for him. He lives with us and I love him dearly but I’m dealing with the loss of my daughter and granddaughter to of course. I feel so bad because I know he deserves so much more than 2 grieving grandparents can give him. I wish your son maybe could talk with him or something. Thank you
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Betty- go onto the Grief Anonymous page on Facebook and contact me via iMessenger. And let’s chat about how we can help.
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Wish you could meet my daughters. They were 6 and 10 when their daddy died. 11th January it will be 8 years. All the best Jackson. Hugs from sunny South Africa
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My boys were 20 and 17 when my husband passed away 6 1/2 years ago. My younger son never talks about it. He is still so angry and most of the time takes his anger out on me by lashing out at me with words. I don’t know what to do anymore. He never wanted to go to grieve counseling and he still doesn’t. I think it will benefit him. I am at a loss. This young man is very insightful.
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Thank you for sharing..When my folks died and I was in my 40’s..I did part of my grief work by working with grieving children and became a grief counselor..It was so rewarding being with the children and helping them get through the grief and doing my own work also..My hat is off to Jackson and his mom..
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Reblogged this on Loss, Grief, Bereavement and Life Transitions Resource Library.
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Thank you for sharing my son’s journey on your blog!
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Hi Holly and Jackson, many thanks for sharing this post because it is a very useful way to understand and deal with the tough day to day and night to night with grief. With love from Ireland, jean
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Thank you for sharing your advice. My husband passed away 4 months ago and we have three daughters (11,12,14). This grief journey is so hard for us all and it is heartbreaking to watch your children hurting and navigating through it all.
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Thank you for sharing your feelings. My son lost his father 13 months ago at the age of 12. He does not share his emotions or thoughts about his fathers unexpected tragic death. I will share with him your writings – thank you💙
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This is an amazing article, unfortunately I also lost my dad at the age of eleven. It was 2 weeks before Christmas and when I got back to school, a lot of people bullied me and made fun of the fact my dad had died, I had no one to turn to for help and the teachers were like boys will be boys. I wish I had your son’s thought process on coping with it at his age, I’m now almost 28, it took me a long time to come to terms with it but I no longer grieve over my dads death, I look towards the better and happier times I have had with him, my dad is at peace and so is my heart with the situation. Your son is an inspiration, I hope this article reaches many children who have lost a parent, as this article will help them, thank you and I wish you all the best.
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I’m going to show this to Jackson! Thank you very much and I’m glad you are feeling better now.
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