Healing Humanity: from my Native American Spirit Grandmother:

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Through Divine Light, God asked Mother Earth, the Sun and Wind, and Father Ocean to bequeath all the beautiful natural elements from every corner of the globe to create us in his image. And it was done.

In the hot regions of our Earth the soil was rich with ancient plant matter and volcanic ashes and sand. Precious elementals formed from the heat and from there came the dark-skinned beautiful beings. From the red-clayed cliffs and slopes of the mountains we shall take the vibrant ochre elements of this beautiful area and make the passionately-spiritual red-skinned souls. The salty rocks and seashores of the North are tough and rugged and majestic. The sun shines brightly here through reflected ice caps. Here the tall, light-eyed, light-skinned humans took hold. From the East humans emerged from the green landscapes and jungles and steamy heat. Shielded from the sun and warmed by the humid lush surroundings they become a golden yellowy hue.  All special, all gifted from the elementals of Mother Earth, and all Divine.

There is beauty in all color and hue and tone. We were all created with love and made of the majestic sources from Mother Earth. We must celebrate this beautiful capacity for this plant to create such amazing diverse humans. Yet we have fallen off our path and have forgotten our origins and intent. God created us all beautiful and all unique for our enjoyment and for the opportunity to live and to learn about others so that we may grow within. This was the intent. This is not what has happened. Mankind has fallen off this path. We got suck during our time of personal developmental understanding and personal recognition and we did not take the step to look outward for beauty and diversified existence. We stayed inward and began to fear the others. We caste them out when they came into our environment.  We threw them out when we came into theirs. We disdained their differences and called ours best. We did not seek to see the beauty of where they came from and we tried to assimilate them into what we considered good and right and beautiful. A terrible imbalance formed and the Negative Elements of the underground took this open opportunity to plant roots within our world. At some point the choice to stay within our personal views became the tipping point. The pendulum has swung to far and we now have to do our utmost to find our true path as a human race.  As One.

The pendulum is slowly beginning to swing back. We are starting to see the error of our ways. We are beginning to appreciate the beauty of our differences. We are able to reach out globally and are truly seeing the vibrant lives of others. We no longer only have to use the definitions our governments or our media give us to teach us about each other. We now have the ability to really communicate through the Internet and other sources in real time and see for ourselves. We see that you love your children. We see the beauty of your festivals and traditions and foods and songs. They makes us want to jump through our screens and join you in dance and song and fellowship. We don’t want to hear only about the negativity because usually it’s a small segment in a grand beautiful story. We need to not rely on what the headlines say because the story is in details that are often unheard. We need to focus on our humanity and our diverse beauty.  We need to forgive ourselves for losing our way on the path of humanity and right this awful wrong. We should all ask forgiveness of our ancestors in any of their transgressions and aspire to correct that which caused hurt, disease, hunger, poverty, and separation.  Our futures, all our futures depend on this. Love and its surrounding Light has risen up to meet this challenge because we are all worth this battle ahead. The fundamental core truth is in the end: Love Conquers All.

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A Prayer for Us All. It Starts with One for Another, and Through the Ripple Effect~ it can Change the Course of Humanity.

I want to share a prayer with everyone. This prayer is very simple, yet all encompassing. If you have lost your way through all the turmoil both in your own space and in the world at large, or anger has taken you off your path and negative energy has made you hit rock bottom then this is especially for you. It is meant for all, but with added healing for those in these circumstances. For as you accept this prayer into your life and be open to what comes to you, know you will receive from your asking for it. Your only responsibility you have after you say it with utmost intent and hope~ is to stay aware. Watch. Listen. Learn what comes to you from your feelings, chills or warmth, signs, and symbols that repeat themselves with pattern in your space. Oftentimes the last disconnect of communication between us and God is the asking and then not following through by being open and aware. We forget what we’ve asked for sometimes. This is where those that are here to help with answers to our prayers now wait for you to remember that you asked. Once you become aware of their presence~ your Spirit guides, deceased loved ones, angels, Archangels, and all that encompasses love and guidance~ then you will see how easy it is to communicate, to ask, to feel loved and supported ongoing. Below is one way to reach Them, and they are reaching out to you to say, “We are here.” A prayer is really “an ask”. We go to God to ask. All of us are at different levels of soul learning. Some choose not to ask at all. Some choose to ask and then they forget. Some ask for the wrong thing and then they get the right thing and do not recognize the gift in front of them because it’s not what they asked for. Those are not unanswered prayers. Those are answered prayers.

So here is my simple prayer, my all-inclusive prayer that was shown to me. Say this to yourself every day and every night and really focus on the words. Say them until it hums like a mantra.

God and All Above for our Highest and Best~Help me (reach your hands up).

And help me (look up)~ help you (look straight)~ help them (look out and down). Amen

This prayer I just described is a simple loving plea from you. “God help me in my life. And help me to know how to try and help others. “. This a service love prayer to serve your fellow man. And we all know the Golden Rule. It’s a part of this prayerful equation. 

Another prayer to help you is if you feel negativity around you and you need to find a quiet place in your surroundings and in your mind to bring back in good energy~ then say this prayer. Say it over and over again until you feel the positive energy rush back to you.. The first time you say it, it will begin to work. But you need to say it until you feel safe. Feel comforted. And feel peace. Like a mantra. Like a chant.

Only through Love and Light to me you shall pass.

This simple prayer above is a prayer of protection against the negative energies that are omnipresent in our daily lives ready to seize any opportunity of throwing us off our life course. With help from above and being open to the communication, we can work towards enlightenment, faith, understanding, peace, and love with an ease in our hearts knowing we are never alone and only what is wanted for us is our highest and best. Amen.IMG_1417

A Message from Above~ Love One Another

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Never give up your spiritual quest to know God! Seek out and find what resonates within you. Just as you are unique, so are the paths to find him. Learn everything that you can learn and never stop that process. We are all spiritual students for life. From spiritual learning and growth, one finds direction and purpose. God comes to us in many forms. He’s not a foreign concept in our minds; rather a familiar something that we gravitate towards and it resonates within our understanding of the world we live in. Through our history, our DNA, our tastes and interests, and our families he finds us and he connects with us.

Truly indeed, God loves us all! We are all his children and we are all worthy of living happy, prosperous, productive, giving lives. This kind of connection is of pure desire borne of love for each of us. This love is indescribable in any high word in any language, and he has it for us all.

We must seek him within our own understanding and we must try to realize that others see him differently from their own visions, own environment, and own belief systems. This is what makes us all unique and different and is one of the many yet important tasks we have to learn here as a human race. We as humans jump many of the hurdles that are put in front of us, but this is one we are losing on a massive, collective global scale. We need to embrace one another. Learn about each other. Accept one another. Show compassion and love for one another. This is the one thing that must change for the better; for our collective future depends on it.

Last night the bombings in Paris were the tipping point. The catalyst. We must for our highest and best from a personal standpoint to a global standpoint learn to LOVE ONE ANOTHER! We are at the precipice now on a global scale. We must through our actions rise above the hate and the violence and the intolerance to see the larger perspective of human oneness. What we do to others, we do to ourselves. Can we please take a small moment and pause to consider God’s love for humanity and the possibility of peace before we all plunge ourselves into a massive world war of hate and violence that will lead us to trying to wipe each other off the planet. We all have a great choice to make. Let us choose wisely. Either way, we will succeed.

Love and for Your Highest Best,

Holly

To Unravel is to Heal

To be tightly wound up in grief is not a good way to walk around on a consistent basis. But it seems it’s good for society~ for your coworkers, friends, acquaintances, family, and strangers alike. We, the ones going through grief, have to keep it together when we are around others. Society wants to see stoicism, pride, and a measure of control out of us. They are looking at you to show them that losing someone to death can be handled and managed, compartmentalized and tucked away for private moments of contemplative weepiness. We feel the unspoken pressure and comply for everyone, including ourselves. An outward display of overwhelming grief is scary to behold and very disconcerting and uncomfortable for others and ourselves to witness. It seems a common value we have placed on ourselves to suffer the real emotions of grief in private. And by private I mean~ totally by ourselves. Even our core families are often uncomfortable seeing an unraveling of grief and pain. People don’t want to see the raw truth because grief is an inevitability for all of us that is better put off for another time. To talk about the true day-to-day of what I experienced and witnessed during those last few weeks is undignified and not in keeping with what societal expectations are. Everyone wants a sanitized, sleepy version of what its like to see someone you love die, like in the movies. The hand grip, the closing of the eyes, and the sweet last staggered breath, the last kiss on the cheek. That is what people want to envision for themselves. And through love, they want to believe that’s what happened to you… Many, many times this is not the case. And it wasn’t mine.

But the truth is at some point~ the unraveling for the grief-stricken will happen. And sometimes it is multiple times. The first inclination and instinct many have is to stand back, to turn away, or close your eyes and cover your ears. The flashbacks, the scenery, the smells and sights and sounds of your surroundings, all of it will make its way to the top and bubble over in our minds. How could it not?? I am a part of closed grief groups online. Many talk privately about wanting to die. Wanting it to be over. And some sadly find a way to make that happen. There is an underlying aspect to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I know it is often a part of grief that no one is seeing or talking about. There needs to be an outlet. An understanding. A way to go through these feelings, this experience, and project it out of our bodies and minds all that we witnessed and experienced and to let it go into the universe for transmutation and diffusion. Reliving it doesn’t help, getting it out of us- does. Keeping this inside ourselves is the most unhealthy thing we can do, but it is also the expectation and sadly and oftentimes the advice that is placed on us by society, our families and friends and coworkers, and ourselves. We must find ways to emit this powerful destructive energy out of our minds and bodies to regain emotional and physical health.

The crucial part of this is to allow one who has suffered loss to grieve at their own pace, at their own volume, and not under anyone else’s timeline or expectation. If you really love them, show patience and ride the waves with them. This level of pain cannot be sustained and it often flows in waves, many times for years. God only gives you what you can handle and waves seem to be a natural form of release, just like the tides of the ocean. You must accept this in order to be fully vested in understanding and support of this person who is suffering. Do not tire of it, do not try and fix it, do not tell them to move on and get over it and suck it up. If they are living, eating, working, and communicating with you they are already crossing over hurdles you haven’t experienced yet perhaps.

One of the ways I let this energy out is through scream therapy. If I were to allow others to hear me they might call the police or an ambulance. Yes~ it’s that powerful. I get in my car and drive somewhere where I know I wont be heard and I let out the most god-awful scream I can muster. I am hoarse for days afterward sometimes. But I can feel this energy leave with the sound and vibration in my throat and it is cathartic, powerful, relieving, and forgiving. And afterward I feel at peace and can move through my day without shell-shocking others. I’m not really advocating public meltdowns, but I am trying to help people connect and understand each other through this process. This journal is for those that need to unravel. And for those that need to understand the unraveling. And to accept this, honor it, and heal, and to form lasting bonds with those that choose to stay. One day when this happens to you, you will have someone who knows and understands be there for you too!

This journal is for my parents. Thank you so much for your undying love, support, and patience for me these last years.

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Transition Day

Hi everyone!

I have officially decided to transition my journal entries on CaringBridge over to a blog.  I now have the energy and time to do it and I am excited!  CaringBridge is a God-send of a website that helps families in critical illness crisis communicate with their friends and families on updates about their loved ones who are ill.  With Jordon’s passing it is now time for me to move off that website and on to something more appropriate, and hopefully this will be it.

This blog is about sharing our family’s journey of before and after the death of my husband, Jordon Barker, from malignant melanoma, a deadly skin cancer.  I am going to write about everything in as honest a fashion as I know how.  After talking to so many of you out there, I hear similar stories all the time.  It is just a fact that people don’t talk in detail too much about illness, dying, death, physical separation, grieving, connectivity and believing in the signs from above.  I am going to write about it all.  Getting it all out is my road to recovery.  Please, please understand that this is not self-absorption, but rather sharing of what is in my heart and mind because I know this is a collective experience for us all, and I am just one person who is just driven to write about it.  After all, none of us escapes death and none of us escapes losing someone we love throughout our lives.  The grieving process can be different, I know it can.  I believe in continuum and connectivity and acceptance of physical separation.  My heart goes out to those that are stuck in the separation.  It is my mission to help those rise above being stuck and to live in the connection that is truly there for us to embrace.  And with moving forward comes happiness and grace that surrounds us with light.  Acceptance and living in connectivity is a gift for us to unwrap and to cherish, respect, and to learn from.