The Blame Game

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/201512/when-youre-in-relationship-blamer

 

This article made its way to my newsfeed yesterday and it caught my attention.  The author used her interpersonal experiences to add in some real clinical points on what happens when you have “blamers” in your life.  Although she has yet to finish her discussion, she left many points to ponder.

I am a part of several grief groups online and I hear this scenario over and over again.  It seems to be the way many people deal with grief and any role they may have played during the event of losing someone they love.  Blaming tears families apart.  It gives a negative justification for one’s feelings and actions and it can often times remain rooted and settled in one’s belief systems for life.  The real issues and actions and events fade away and what is left is a skewed sense of facts that support blaming others and no real sense of introspection which can ultimately aid that person in healing.

Blame is the opposite of forgiving.  Blame is a much heavier, negative energy to hold on to.  It’s as if you take out of your mind your part in the event and hold it in your hands so that the action or event cannot be attached to one’s self.  The blamer disowns and disconnects from his or her actions and finds it is easier to hold the blame in his or her hands and to carry around with them until it’s released or it becomes a part of them. The Blamer THINKS holding and projecting the blame is easier, but will find out with time that its just the opposite.  Many never understand this reality and they suffer the consequences of holding a heavy, dense, negative energy that robs them of their ability to move freely through life.  It’s most corrupt feature is its ability to hijack one’s own mind into believing its false truth and it keeps the blamer’s thoughts suspended in this negative energy rather than allowing the holder to reflect on what really happened and their part they play and how to change and how to move forward and forgive and to love and to learn.  Eventually time holds the key.  One can let go of this negative energy and allow in all things good, or one can make that which they hold a permanent fixture about one’s self and walk in this lifetime with a negativity that is spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally crippling.  The choice is theirs to make.

As for the the one who’s blamed….See this for what it is.  Bless the knowledge.  Bless the soul who is in the grips of this.  And give thanks for the wisdom it provides.  And most importantly, forgive so that you may not be attached like a magnet to this energy.  Yes, blame attracts.  But so does love.  Your choice.

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A Message from Above~ Love One Another

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Never give up your spiritual quest to know God! Seek out and find what resonates within you. Just as you are unique, so are the paths to find him. Learn everything that you can learn and never stop that process. We are all spiritual students for life. From spiritual learning and growth, one finds direction and purpose. God comes to us in many forms. He’s not a foreign concept in our minds; rather a familiar something that we gravitate towards and it resonates within our understanding of the world we live in. Through our history, our DNA, our tastes and interests, and our families he finds us and he connects with us.

Truly indeed, God loves us all! We are all his children and we are all worthy of living happy, prosperous, productive, giving lives. This kind of connection is of pure desire borne of love for each of us. This love is indescribable in any high word in any language, and he has it for us all.

We must seek him within our own understanding and we must try to realize that others see him differently from their own visions, own environment, and own belief systems. This is what makes us all unique and different and is one of the many yet important tasks we have to learn here as a human race. We as humans jump many of the hurdles that are put in front of us, but this is one we are losing on a massive, collective global scale. We need to embrace one another. Learn about each other. Accept one another. Show compassion and love for one another. This is the one thing that must change for the better; for our collective future depends on it.

Last night the bombings in Paris were the tipping point. The catalyst. We must for our highest and best from a personal standpoint to a global standpoint learn to LOVE ONE ANOTHER! We are at the precipice now on a global scale. We must through our actions rise above the hate and the violence and the intolerance to see the larger perspective of human oneness. What we do to others, we do to ourselves. Can we please take a small moment and pause to consider God’s love for humanity and the possibility of peace before we all plunge ourselves into a massive world war of hate and violence that will lead us to trying to wipe each other off the planet. We all have a great choice to make. Let us choose wisely. Either way, we will succeed.

Love and for Your Highest Best,

Holly

How to Lighten The Emotional Load You Carry

You might think that holding on to the past to the heaviness of grievances and transgressions and negative energy of others that have hurt you is justified.  We all look back from time to time at old wounds that were inflicted on us intentionally or unintentionally and feel the sting and allow the anger to simmer on. Our subconscious carries that burden in the recesses of our memories, yet we feel and carry the heaviness of it today.  How do we truly go through the process of laying this down so our journey will be lighter?  Holding on to this pain really affects us more than we realize.  When we carry heavy negativity from the past in our backpacks with us, it forces us to take the roads and trails that we can only barely handle.  We feel the burden and do not trust the higher, more lofty paths due to the acknowledgement that we can’t possibly make it with this heavy sack of emotions on our backs.  This burdensome backpack of memories weighs us down causing us to  keep our guards up on our paths as we move forward in life often times choosing roads and trails and paths that are easier, yet less rewarding.

The key to this journey is to lighten your emotional load.  The way to do this is counter-intuitive.  When we look back at what has happened to us we must place ourselves in the circle with those that caused us harm and to accept that we played a part in some way through our decisions and choices. This isn’t easy to do, but it can be done. When we give focus to even just a small amount to our part, and accept the outcome~ we assume and accept part of that energy that was created was ours.  Believe it or not, by doing this, we lighten our loads, we do not add to them.  This is not in any way an assumption of guilt.  What it is though is a higher level of understanding as to why that person or circumstance was in our path to begin with.  What were we seeking at the time?  What was our focus?  What really went wrong?  Or was it just time to move on and learn and grow from the experience.  If we stay on guard or continue to ruminate over the actions and words and deeds of others, this weight grows.  It burdens our emotional and physical and spiritual wellbeing and can manifest into decisions of future paths that are not intended for our highest good.  When we take on personal accountability for our part in past negative experiences we lighten weight in our hearts and minds.  We rise above the finger-pointing and anger and blame.  From a universal perspective anger and blame are much heavier substances than love, understanding, and forgiveness.  We know this to be true because we all feel the lightness of a loving heart and a clear conscience.  We also know the weighted feelings of blame and anger.  One emotion builds while the other destroys.

Lay the past down if your backpack has grown heavy and is wearing you down and taking away your breath. Take a look back at the whole valley you have traveled through. See the beauty and the shadows.  Admire the clouds, the sounds of the birds, the smell of the flowers, and feel the gratitude of the higher understanding of lessons learned.  Ask for peace and accept all that was. All that is. Be open to all that will be with a hopeful heart.

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The Great Awakening

It’s happening. Love is spreading everywhere~ silently, slowly, with great care and forward motion. Slow steady pressure. Humanity is starting to look itself in the eye and ask the real questions that matter. The reason is now we are connected as a human race. We speak on global terms. We know so much more about people, culture, and history than we did even fifteen years ago. We no longer have to rely on the news and history books and newspapers. We are all directly linked and connected and we are all beginning to understand how much we really are alike. We all love the same. We love our children. We all grieve and experience loss at some point in our lives. We bask in happiness on shorelines all over the world and enjoy good company and family and friends. The silent majority is sane and becoming vocal. We are stable. We love others. We care. The world is coming to a point where the chasm of good and evil is widening and the veils are falling down. We can no longer be fooled by those who try to create a false story of a whole group or nation of people as “evil” or wrong. We know better.

On a massive divine scale, there is a oneness of souls. We are all connected and moving forward in understanding and knowledge and learning that love is at the center of everything. The universe is calling us to understand energy and vibration through quantum physics as well as remembering the basic fundamental rules of life~ do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Science and Spirit are proving each other right, not wrong. There is a great merging of thought happening now and it is beautiful. Thoughts become things. We are so far advanced in our understanding of energy that we realize our minds have the power to create. Thoughts have mass. Energy transfers where thoughts go. It doesn’t die. Neither do we. We move forward in spirit and energy and join the Great Connection.

Sometimes a deviation happens in time and our free will and choices lead us down the wrong road both on a personal level as well as a global community. It has been too long but we are finding our way back. We as a global community need to embrace our differences, forgive on a personal to a global perspective in order to heal ourselves. It takes each one of us. We all matter. Our contributions to the greater good are vitally important whether they are in the form of time, money, energy, thought, prayer, hope, or kindness. We all have the power to tip the scale in our favor.

I rarely run across a conversation with someone who has not been tapped on some level by this energy that is circling the globe. More of us feel comfortable discussing the energy we feel within us and around us. Many of us are able to be open and tap into that energy and see farther, understand more, and share it with others. If this is happening to you, do not be afraid. Fear is only a request away from being gone. The answer to this entire discussion is simple. All the most important truths are simple. We just have to believe it.

Love conquers all.

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Escaping the Pinball Wizard

Every person on this planet is born innocent and good.  There is no such thing as a bad baby.  When we are born we are our core selves, undeveloped and new.  We never lose that core, but the world comes in and influence takes over and we become a product of our environment and grow from the impact the world has on us. This collective human experience has impact and it creates a pinball machine effect into the world.  Once we receive negative or positive energy from another it becomes kinetic energy and takes on a life of its own. The actions of others, both positive and negative, influence our decisions and thought processes.  It is this action and our own reaction that takes us away from our true selves and we begin to divest our own personal positive energy and give it away to others through disappointment and expectations. We become blocked from our own divine light and stand in our own way, and we remove our focus from that which is our core beliefs in ourselves and react to our environment in that pinball machine. Noise, defection, chaos, and slamming our palms to the button to keep the ball from rolling down til the game is over is how we defensively react through our human nature.  The object of the game is whoever gets the most points wins. Do we really ever “win” an argument?  Do we stop to think what is lost when we do win?  What impact have we created on ourselves and on others?  Are we acting from our core selves or from the impact of our environment?

We have choices.  And the choice starts with focus and acceptance.  We must accept that others will react and treat us within their understanding of their environment. They are going through the same thing as it is a reflective mirror image.  It starts with you.  It starts with me. You, me, individually we must pull our focus away from the disappointments and resentments and anger we feel towards others and instead create a powerful focus on the innocent good self that we all have.  From that focus on self, we then radiate out good and positive intent into our world.  We have to accept that we might not be in an environment that is hospitable to our new focus, but that won’t matter because our focus is on good, and peace, and acceptance of our surroundings.  This type of positive kinetic energy spreads as well.

In the inevitable end, the ball rolls down and the score is tallied.  Life can continue like this for us until we tire and decide to move our focus out of the arcade.  There is no peace in an arcade. What could be peace and harmony when we forgive and accept becomes an internal defensive war within our hearts and outward actions. The key to happiness and peace is stepping out of the arcade and returning to self-focus. When we focus on our core selves and the love and light within and accept others on unconditional grounds, we bring in peace to our surroundings and it radiates out that which you want to come back to you. It is karma. It is the law of attraction. It is the golden rule. Open your eyes to the outside of others and to their struggles and obstacles that have been placed in their lives.  Then try to see their core self and accept the whole picture because they are a reflection of you and your core and your obstacles and struggles. The beauty of this process is amazing and healing. Acceptance and forgiveness of others creates acceptance and forgiveness within and peace and grace in your heart is the reward.

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Learning to Forgive

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I have come to a conclusion about an important aspect of grief. Nothing that anyone says or does, whether positive or negative, surprises me anymore. I am sitting on the rock bottom of an unforgiving valley looking up and out and absorbing the view. I am learning and reflecting on this experience. What I take away from this experience will stay with me for the rest of my life.
The act of forgiveness comes from acceptance. Acceptance is the catalyst to allow in forgiveness into your heart and the result is peace.
This internal act is something you do for yourself. When you are open to forgiveness you allow yourself to heal on a spiritual, emotional, and physical level. When you do not allow this healing in, pain and disease and illness (both mental and emotional) manifest and only lead you down a path that is not intended for you. Allowing yourself to let go of pain that others inflict on you will benefit you in all aspects of you life. The equation is simple. Forgiveness is a fundamental component to happiness and health. You cannot separate out judgement, resentment, anger, and hate from your own personal health and happiness. The two do not live jointly in your heart without contention and unrest. Most of us feel this duality within us and it is the greatest human struggle. It is the single cause of one to one interpersonal strife all the way to war between nations. Learning to forgive is the Mount Everest of human emotional challenges. The difficulty of not forgiving is a core elemental human flaw that is uniquely placed in us to challenge us to overcome life’s biggest obstacles. I identify with my pain inflicted by others and I am trying to identify with the hurt I cause. It is up to me to stand outside myself, bring my heart and mind to a higher plane, and to learn acceptance and forgiveness in order for me to wholly heal and find peace and happiness. Words and basic deeds of goodwill are not enough. We think they are, and we rationalize that thought in order to skip over the real truth in order not to face our own shortcomings. It’s easier in the short run to hold on to all that has been done towards us, but more profound when we create actions that heal in the long run. When we justify our anger and resentment, it holds us captive and without what we all truly need and deserve. We are all meant to be happy and emotionally healthy, that is what is wanted for us from above. But the key to this enlightened state is to fully become aware of your own pain and hurt and to heal through forgiveness and acceptance of others from within. I am human and this is the hardest thing I will ever have to face. If I want to experience true rewards of clear vision and peace in my heart, I must accept this challenge.

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